The Baby Kane Blog

Dating & Donors

2010-06-21T16:14:00.000-07:00

Fast forward a few months to spring '09... I met a guy. We had serious chemistry. Like none other I'd ever experienced! And thus began a few dilemmas I'd heard about from so many other SMC's... #1... Date and keep trying with a donor or put it on hold in hopes New Guy is "the one". And dilemma number two... to tell New Guy about my Trying status or not... Well, in case number two I didn't have to decide for myself because he googled me and found my original blog post talking all about my decision to become a SMC. He said he was cool about it, but when August started getting closer he felt like the pressure was on. He couldn't come to terms with the idea of us staying together and me being pregnant with another man's baby and he wasn't ready to become a father again so we broke up. It was a great fling while it lasted...
On to donors then. I joined a site something akin to match.com for donors and recipients. I had pages and pages of potential donors that I'd consider. I sent them all messages and heard back from only a fraction. A mixed blessing for sure. Ultimately I found a guy that I really wanted to meet up with, he lived in Vancouver, WA, and he was game. I planned a trip to Portland under the guise of visiting my family for a week, which just so happened to coincide with ovulation week ;-) and I thought for sure I was on my way... Long story short Donor #1 boged out big time. I was crushed. But then another donor whom I'd emailed with, who originally said he wasn't interested, emailed again asking if I was still looking for a donor... was I ever?! So we agreed to meet the next day, the day before the end of my trip and late in my cycle, but still worth a shot. We texted for something like 3 straight hours! I was feeling good about meeting him and he me. As I was walking out the door of my dad's house there was a segment on the news about this woman who got murdered on the side of the highway-great... Just what Dad needed to see right before his only daughter was about to leave the house at midnight to meet up with a guy she'd never met in hopes of getting pregnant. oy.
Everything went fine and I was soon back home and crawling into bed, much to the relief of my dad.
Less than a week later I was back at work and starting to feel funky. I was never so excited to be that nauseous!
I felt the presence of my kids so strongly. For 2 weeks it seemed like this was finally it. They were getting their prelife review. They were in closed counsel with other beings, a lot. And then they were facing a decision that was difficult to make. A health challenge of some kind was going to show up at age 68. That was a major glitch for them. I never found out exactly what it was. I'm not even sure they did, but ultimately they chose not to stay this time because of it and a few other things I was to find out later.
Some of my intuitive friends were asking, "WHAT HAPPENED??? They were so here and then they were gone..." and all I could say was, "I know... I guess it wasn't time yet, still, again...sigh."

Baby of Mine in 2009

2010-03-20T12:48:00.000-07:00

This became my mantra for the year. It popped into my head while driving home from somewhere in that first week of January and it made me giddy each time I said it.
At the time, I was working as a specialty teacher at one of our local elementary schools and wanted to try and time my pregnancy and resulting maternity leave to correspond with the school calendar. So I decided to try to get pregnant in August thus I'd be pregnant for the whole school year and have the baby right at the beginning of summer, and maybe be able to come back to teach in the fall.
Time to find a donor!
Not long after having created the list of local guys I'd consider asking to be a donor I'd crossed them all off for one reason or another. I also considered choosing sperm from a bank that would ship to my home. Of the few banks that are willing to ship to a private residence as opposed to a doctor's office I wasn't finding any donors that really appealed to me, nor did the high price tag attached to one vial of sperm that wasn't even a complete shot do anything for me either. Something I came to realize that's important to me in deciding on a donor is that he be available to know the child he helps create throughout the child's life. Most banks in the US give the donors the option to choose whether to be completely anonymous or whether they consent to meeting the child once the child reaches 18 years old. The bank that is the exception to that rule encourages contact after 3 months! But their pool of donors is so small... sigh. And still the high price and small amount of sperm for one try per cycle... I just can't bring myself to do it that way.
So onto private donors I went...
After reading the profiles of dozens of donors, and emailing with many of them, I was able to narrow it down to a few I thought seemed like good options and it just so happens that they lived in the NW; A natural choice for me since I grew up in Portland and still have family and friends there. I'd looked at profiles of donors in places I'd be willing to travel to as the choices for donors in Arizona were and continue to be very slim.
My ideal donor would be someone that looked somewhat like me with blond or light brown hair (or red as a last option. Though I really didn't want a child with skin as fair as comes with red hair just for the impracticality of it living in Arizona and enjoying being outside a lot) and blue or green eyes.
It's funny the things one considers when one has the option to ;-)
Another important factor, for me, in choosing a donor is that he be O blood type-same as me, and if he's O-, even better! The reason behind the blood type is that I follow Dr. D'Adamo's diets based on blood type and have seen first hand how challenging it is to cook for everyone in families with differing blood types. As a single mom I want to create as much ease in my life as possible. So if baby and I have the same blood type there is less chance of miscarriage first off and then less chance that what I eat will negatively affect baby while breastfeeding, thus hopefully no colic, and when baby is eating solids I won't have to buy and prepare anything different than what I already have and make for myself. As far as the donor's blood type being positive or negative... Ideally it would be negative, same as mine, thus alleviating any issue that my body will become sensitized to baby's blood if they should happen to mix during birth (if we have different Rh factors +/-). I plan to homebirth and don't believe in vaccinations (Rhogam in this case) so being able to carry to term and deliver subsequent children naturally could be an issue if mine and baby's blood happened to mix, which isn't likely in most normal deliveries, but is something to consider nonetheless.
Between January and August I did a lot to try and prepare for pregnancy-getting house projects finished where I was living, started charting my cycles, collecting baby stuff hand me downs, taking an even closer look at my already healthy diet I decided to cut sugar out, and started taking prenatal vitamins. I was also continuing to work through any emotional issues that might hinder the process of me becoming a mom.

The Breakup and The Decision

2010-03-12T00:09:00.001-07:00

Not too long after that glorious day out on the lake everything about our relationship that hadn't been working came to a head, again, for the last time. As a woman with the tick tick ticking of the biological time clock growing louder and more urgent all the time I had thought we'd been on the same page on many things including children. But as it turns out, we were not. Fiance was tired of children, after having helped raise his young nieces and nephew for the past 5 years, and wanted a break, a loooooong break, before having his own. This I did not know or didn't want to hear, and was a topic we couldn't seem to work around, through or over. We were at a complete impasse. Both of us standing firm in our convictions. He to wait 2-5 years. Me to have kids right away. We gave it a couple weeks to see if anything would change or shift for either of us. It didn't. I knew it wouldn't. So that was the end of it.
In retrospect he was a means to an end. A strategy that backfired. I learned a lot and so did he. I have no regrets, except maybe to have come to the conclusion sooner rather than later, but it all is what it is and you move on.
A couple weeks to a month after we broke up I was full on researching and reading everything I could find on becoming a Single Mother by Choice. I even made a list of all the guys I'd consider asking to become donors. And had pretty much made up my mind that this was the path I was going to take. I didn't even bounce the idea off my best friend. I felt confident and sure in my decision and then started wondering how to tell all my friends and family. I knew there would be some that would freak and some that would celebrate with me, but which folks would fall into which camps remained to be seen.
Instead of sending out Christmas cards I created a card each to be sent to my mom and dad so that they'd get the news first. I then sent out a New Year's Letter highlighting the previous year and announcing my decision to become a Single Mom by Choice to everyone else and I mean everyone. Friends and family I hadn't talked to in years I sent the letter to. I really wanted everyone that might remotely matter in my life to hear the news and facts straight from me, NOT through the grapevine. I often feel as though the town I live in and the circles I travel in get quite a bit incestuous. I've seen other people's joys and tragedies become the talk of the town and if that was gonna happen to me I at least wanted everyone to have the story straight!
I was continually surprised and delightfully awestruck with the responses I received. I was so moved to hear so much positive, joyful, ecstatic support by so many people. Everyone, but my mom, did as I asked, and that was to tell a friend, not me, if they had anything negative to say about my choice. I finally had to ban the topic from conversation, and even over a year later it has yet to be discussed in rational terms. Many women on the path ahead of me have mentioned similar situations and that once she was pregnant or actually put the child in its grandma's arms that all the strife melted with that first cuddle. I trust that will happen for us too.

Present Time Update

2010-02-04T20:01:00.000-07:00

I kinda forgot about you baby blog.... oops, packing to move, thanksgiving, christmas, new years, moving, remodeling...still...

Somewhere amidst all of that I read, "The Care and Feeding of Indigo Children"

I felt like it was my personal guidebook! ;-)
That aside, while I was reading it, the year 2011 as printed on the page lit up like a neon sign and the kids were all excited and bouncing up and down. So of course I guessed that that's the year they want to be born in, so I ask them what part of the year, and they say the early part. As in January/February? YES! Okey dokey! We can do that. I'm psyched to have a new plan.
Since I left my teaching job I was plan-less as to when to try to conceive again, since I was basing my whole plan on the school calendar, which has now become a moot point lol
So the new plan is to try this April :-)

The Story Part 4-Trial Run #2 continued again

2009-11-12T22:09:00.001-07:00

2 days later, Fiance, my best friend and her kids took advantage of the last of the run of warm days to go to Goldwater Lake for a paddle and to check out the high water.
"The boat launch was completely under water as well as half of the lower parking lot and there was water going over the spillway. It was awesome! I had visions of paddling with you [Aaron] all snug in a wrap out there in the boat with me. Hardly a better way to spend a sunny afternoon! Can hardly wait to share it with you!
I finally gave in to the urge to test and was so excited the night I bought them that I had a hard time sleeping. I got up at 6am, did the test, it came back negative, and I wasn't surprised. My period wasn't due for another 4 days or so. We were just at the lake the other day and now the high is 44. Yikes! I spent the day hanging at home, doing laundry, trying to nap, said hi to you-I think I'm doing much better about not being so hovery, but I think you're tired already of me asking if your're still really in there. Not much longer til the physical signs tell us for sure. I was home alone and watching the movie High Fidelity, and I let out a burp with my mouth open and you chastised me, 'Mama!' It made me chuckle. I think you're gonna give me a run for my money, keep me on my toes when you finally get here all the way onto the physical plane. You crack me up already! All your answers end with 'mama'. Like I'll say, 'Hi Aaron. Are ya still in there?'
'Yes, mama.'
'Are ya gonna stick it out for the duration?'
'Yes, mama.'
It's always, 'yes, mama' or 'no, mama'. I started wondering if you lived in the South in your last life so I asked you... 'yes, mama' ;-)
It's funny to me-you're so proper! I've never even been to the South-well not in this life anyway, well except Florida, but I don't really count that because the culture there is totally different...
I can't seem to get over how quiet you are-so different from me and your sisters-who are all kinda crazy with energy. Fiance is definitely the one that is more chill.
Been noticing things in my body...feeling more tired, kinda woozy, slightly nauseated every now and then, my brain definitely feels scrambled. When I type, the words sometimes come out jumbled or there's a word left out, I go looking in the fridge for something and can't remember what, I went to get a bowl down from the cabinet and kept walking... [none of these are normal occurrences for me]
You love it when I rest my hand on my belly and when I rub it too.
We seem to be a bit at odds right at the moment. You've been having bouts of sadness, loneliness, missing those you love on the other side, and I'm afraid you're going to leave when I already want you to stay."
2 days later... sigh.

The Story Part 4-Trial Run #2 continued

2009-11-06T22:39:00.000-07:00

It's 11 days past the night we did the deed and I'm pondering whether or not I want to take a home pregnancy test before I miss my period or not. I still haven't told Fiance anything yet.
"My biggest fear about testing before I've missed my period is that it will show up as negative when it's been so clear to me that you're here. I've already been feeling crazy with wonder, anticipation, fear, anxiety, excitement-that I don't think I could handle it if I didn't get the confirmation I was looking for. On the flip side of that of course is the total possibility that the tests would come back positive and then I could at least stop wondering about that part, but I think I'd still be anxious about whether or not you're planning to stay-even though you've said you will... It all feels so tenuous to me. Don't know how everybody else does it...Wondering how, when, where I'll be confident about you being in there and staying. I keep reassuring you whenever my issues come up that it's not about you, that no matter what you are loved and wanted, that there's just stuff I need to work through."
The next day Fiance and I walk the loop at Acker Park. It's February and a gorgeous 72 degrees out. Winters are crazy like that in Prescott beautiful and warm one week and snowing the next.
"Fiance was sharing about a life coaching session he'd had earlier in the week and then asked if there was something else going on with me besides the fact that he was driving me nuts. I said wellllll.... He knew immediately what I was going to say, but kept quiet until I had finished spewing out the whole story, everything I've been thinking and feeling. He agreed that it's not ideal timing, but that he wouldn't want me to end it, which never even entered my mind as an option. I guess I always knew if I got pregnant and my partner didn't want it, I'd keep it anyway and forget him. Thankfully he's not like that. He was very sweet and supportive. I asked him what he thought about potential babyness and he said, 'I think it's great! And I'm ok with whatever the little guy decides to do.' He also expressed that next time he'd like me to tell him as soon as I 'know'. I feel a lot more calm and like I can deal with whatever happens now that I've told him."

To be continued, again... ;-)

My New Mantra

2009-10-27T08:47:00.000-07:00

"The perfect sperm donor, in the perfect time, in the perfect place, is mine!"

I thought, hoped, and planned on being pregnant by now, but The Universe had other plans...
Including me leaving the job that I planned my pregnancy around lol So now that I'm not trying to work around the public school calendar I'm not sure what I'm working around. It's apparently not for me to know yet. sigh. Being the impatient Aries that I am is sure making it hard to wait, again, some more. This is where the mantra comes in... ;-)

The Story Part 4-Trial Run #2

2009-10-20T08:53:00.000-07:00

I first started writing this whole story down in February 2008, when I thought I was pregnant for the 2nd time. My best friend encouraged me to write it all down so the kids would know, when they finally get here, how much we all talked about them and loved them and knew them already.
I wrote a lot about my experience this time since it was happening while I was writing the whole story. So for now, here, it's going to be the abridged version.

So Trial Run #2 happened on Valentine's weekend, when boyfriend turned fiance and I went up to Flagstaff for a night at a nice hotel. We did use a condom, according to what I wrote then, but these things do sometimes have imperfections... what can I say?
Most of what I wrote about our trip was about all the AMAZING food we ate up in Flag. ;-) Restaurants in Prescott, just don't stack up. When we arrived in Flag lunch was at Mt. Oasis-The best Gyro sandwich ever for me and a chicken sandwich for him and a gorgeously purple Fernberry Mt. smoothie to share; Pre-dinner dessert at Cold Stone was mint chocolate chip/cookie dough combo for him and chocolate/brownie for me. Dinner at San Felipes-Mahi Mahi battered and fried in almonds and coconut was the winner of the most delicious fish ever award. We wished we'd both ordered that instead of the steak fajitas that was our other dish. Brunch at Martaane's-Green Chilaquiles. My mouth was in heaven! For those of you who have never been fortunate enough to have been able to eat these at Martaane's I shall describe them for you.... the first layer is crispy corn chips then over easy fried eggs, green chile sauce, cheese, guacamole, and sour cream to top it off. On the side is a warm flour tortilla, hashbrowns, beans and rice and more cheese, and the whole plate turns into one ginormous, sloppy, gooey delicious mess :-D
And to top off our marathon of deliciousness (by the way we did a lot of walking between all that eating...) we stopped in at the Bar-B-Q place for ribs, cornbread, the best mashed sweet potatoes ever and the best garlic fries ever, to go. Our intention was to picnic when we got back to Prescott, which we mostly managed to do, but sadly the garlic fries disappeared before we were even halfway home...
We had a lovely picnic at Willow Lake and then went for a walk. It was a magical time of day. The sun was starting to set and everything was golden. All the colors were richer, the birds were singing, ducks were paddling about on the lake... As we walked, holding hands, chit chatting, this thought popped into my head, "Holy cow! I'm pregnant." and then I hear what I thought were Aaron and one or 2 of the girls say, "Yeah, we're here!" and I said, "Well, I know you're here, but are you like really inside me?" "Yes".
I didn't say anything to Fiance about any of this at the time, and still hadn't a week later. Though I was thinking about telling him sooner, since I didn't tell him til after, before...
One night while in the tub I was chatting with Aaron and he told me about his Guardian Angel, Emily, that had brought him down to me and how she had stayed with him for a few days. Now I understood why I couldn't figure out which one of his sisters was with him because it was neither! It was just Aaron this time.
From my journal, "Every day I check in with you, usually several times, to ask if you're still inside me-always yes, and I reassure you it's not you I don't trust, it's me. This is a pretty big deal and it's not happening at the most ideal time so I want to be certain and confident in myself that it's really happening (and not another trial run) before I tell people... It feels so different this time-slow, dreamy, sleepy, dozey, wondering if that's how you're gonna be as a person when you get here... Something shifted and I feel more confident about my intuition about you. I still want some type of physical confirmation, but I don't feel as crazy wondering if I'm right or not."

To be continued...

SMC Resources & Info

2009-10-11T11:47:00.002-07:00

Books I've Read & Recommend (In Alphabetical Order):

Internet Sites I frequent:
Choice Moms
Choice Moms Yahoo Group
Mothering's SMC Thread

Other Internet Resources
Single Mothers by Choice
The National Organization of Single Mothers, Inc (NOSM)

Awesome SMC Blogs

I'll be adding more as I go along and if you have any suggestions-please suggest away!

The Story Part 3-Trial Run #1

2009-10-06T22:20:00.001-07:00

Late in October of 2007 my boyfriend had come over early one morning to catch me for a snuggle while I was still in bed, but of course we ended up doing more than that...
From my journal:
"We snuggled for a long time. He dozed and I just let my mind wander. At one point I heard a very clear chorus of, 'We're here!' and an interesting sensation accompanied with a vision that was something like 2 little critters getting snugged in for the duration. (Picture 2 sweet little mice curled up together for winter hibernation...) Hmmmm... Gotta wait 18 days til my period is due to get that kind of confirmation. The kiddos were miffed that I was wanting that-that I should just trust them, hear them and have that be enough. I agreed, but/and somehow the period or no is the clincher. On one of the forums on mothering.com (mdc) there's been some talk about some people choosing to not use a home pregnancy test and I never thought about it. They're (the folks on mdc) so good for broadening one's horizons. We've all been so enmeshed in our culture's one way of doing things it's almost silly! I'm still wondering if I'll go that route or not. It would kind of be a fun keepsake to have since I already know I'm not planning to have an ultrasound-so I won't have those early pics-hmmm...
I just calculated my due date if this really is the real thing. They'll be here around the 1st of July".
I had a sense that it was Kyllie and Aaron in there, but at times I wasn't positive. They sometimes hinted at all 3 of them coming in together. I let them know I wasn't thrilled with that plan mostly because I have only 2 boobs, and wasn't planning on sprouting another! So they needed to decide who it was gonna be. Please... only 2 at a time. I was a nanny for a family with 5 children, ages 8, 5, 2 and newborn twins, so I know I can handle 2 babies at a time. 3 is pushing it all the way around. They still liked to tease me with the idea of all 3 coming together-little stinkers.
A month went by before I updated my journal again, but I remember being excited by the possibility of being able to share this news with my mom and grandpa at Thanksgiving, and so obsessed, as if I could control whether the children chose to stay or go, by asking them 5 million times a day if they were still in there or not, and if it was really real and really happening. It's no wonder they left!! ;-) I was driving myself mad. I can only imagine how they must have felt...
The journal update says:
"Guess I haven't updated yet... They were here 2 weeks, then left and a few days later my period came..." It took several days to a week for the realization to settle in and when it did the sadness and loss I felt were great.
It wasn't just about the loss of the potential pregnancy either. It was a whole mess of things. Being frustrated that my life was not where I wanted it to be; Being so close and then having to wait some more for the children I've always wanted; spurring my boyfriend on to be more careful when we'd do the deed, which made me realize how much I was hoping for an oops...
I waited to tell him everything I was thinking, feeling, intuiting about the potential pregnancy until my period showed up. I was torn about whether to tell him right away or not. We'd had plenty of conversations about the Angel Babies, but never about what we'd do if they came as a surprise.

The Story Part 2-Introducing Rebekah

2009-10-05T20:57:00.001-07:00

Sometime in 2007, whilst in the midst of a committed relationship, Angel Baby #3 showed up. I don't recall all of the details of her arrival right at the moment, but I do recall being surprised that there was a 3rd energy hanging around with the other two because it'd been just the 2 for so long. I knew it was a girl right away, and I remember questioning whether this really was a new energy or if it was Kyllie, but no, this one is different, and very similar-firey and outspoken, and yet unique.
Her energy seemed to be in and out quite often, as if she wasn't yet completely decided that we were meant to be her parents. When I'd get glimpses of all 3 Angel Babies together they seemed to be hitting it off as siblings already. They felt playful and happy to be together. After a time of her being around and feeling as though she'd decided that she was stickin around I asked her name-Rebekah.
She was very particular about the spelling, that it be the traditional biblical spelling, and not the common one (Rebecca). So I got online to look it up on a few baby name sites. I wanted to be sure. There's no messing around with these kiddos. They know what they want! On one site I visited, for each name you could research, it gave a brief synopsis of the person's role in the bible, and since I'm not a churchy kinda person I was humored to discover that Rebekah was the mother of twins.
When Rebekah showed up it changed the dynamics of the 3 and the kids started playing a game something akin to a cross between musical chairs and hot potato, trying to decide who was coming first and in what combination, as in which of them would be coming in as the twins.
Rebekah and Kyllie seeemed to connect especially well and considering their similar personalities I wondered if they might choose to come in as the twins. With this in mind we talked about how it might be a good idea for Aaron to come in first as a singleton if he and I were to have any chance at all of getting to know one another well. I had a sense that if the girls were to come in together first, that with their fire as well as being twins that they'd need and get a lot of attention that might cause Aaron to get left in the dust if he were to come in as a singleton after the girls.
With the glimpse into Rebekah's name though I started to wonder if maybe she'd come in first and be my little helper for when the twins would arrive. That potential arrangement didn't go over well with them though, even though it sounded like a great plan to me! Oh well... So we're back to Aaron and then the girls, for the time being I guess...

The Official Raffle Winner Is....

2009-10-02T08:36:00.000-07:00

Kristi!!
Congratulations!
You get to choose your favorite hat from the shop!

and now back to our regularly scheduled programming...

The Baby Kane Fund Raffle

2009-09-23T22:11:00.006-07:00

How You Know Me

Some of you may only know me by my shop or screen name, but not me as a real live person. So to put myself in some sort of context for you... My name is Chelsie Kane.

I frequent Mothering.com as prescottchels

I have a shop on Etsy called SugarKaneCreations

I'm a member of the Natural Parenting & Living Etsy Street Team

I'm also a member of the Choice Mom Yahoo Group

The How To's & What For's
I'm planning to become pregnant as a Single Mama by Choice this year. So I'm holding this raffle to add moolah to The Baby Kane Fund, which will be used to help with the expenses associated with traveling for insemination. I'm hoping the raffle will drum up some excitement in The Shop too!

Each ticket you purchase gets you closer to winning the hat of your choice from my etsy shop, SugarKaneCreations

If you purchase $20 or more in tickets, and you’re the lucky winner, you may either choose a hat from those that are in stock OR you may choose to request a custom order for yourself or to give as a gift. The Holidays are right around the corner…

Ticket Price Breakdown

1 ticket for $1 OR

6 tickets for $5 OR

13 tickets for $10 OR

20 tickets for $15 OR

27 tickets for $20 (contact me if you’d like to purchase more than $20 worth of tickets at prescottchels@aim.com)

The Fine Print

Tickets are available now through Thursday October 1^st.

The winner will be picked at random on Friday October 2^nd.

The winner will be notified via email and posted on the blog as well as on my Facebook page.

The winner’s, in stock, hat will be sent via USPS mail upon receipt of mailing address. If the winner has the choice of a custom hat order I’ll be in contact about the necessary details and time line for mailing.

Thanks for playing and GOOD LUCK!!

Cheers,

Chelsie :-)

Play trumpet sounds here

The Story Part 1-Introducing Kyllie & Aaron

2009-09-23T09:00:00.002-07:00

I've always known, from as far back as I can remember, that I would have children some day. There are twins on both sides of my family and growing up I was often told that I'd be the next one to have them. I always kinda thought my kids would be one boy and one girl whether they were twins or not.
Around jr. high the name Kylie came to me as a girl name I liked and I thought I might use it if it felt right when the time came to name my girl child. I liked the fact that the name fit with the family tradition on my mom's side of all the women's names ending in 'ie' starting with my grandmother's nickname and going down the line to my aunts and mom to me.
Sometime during my adulthood the name Kylie became more than just a name. It got attached to a being, a soul waiting to come to earth as my child. As the years went by I became more and more aware of this angel baby and sometimes we would chat. About 3 or 4 years ago I learned about The Kalevala, the Finnish Creation Story, from a Norwegian Professor friend of mine. He encouraged me to find a copy and read it since he knew I was 1/2 Finnish. I shouldn't have been surprised by what I discovered, but I was... The heroine of story is Kyllikki, who goes by Kyllie! Well that settles it then. Kyllie, with a double 'l' it is. About this same time I started feeling the energy of another angel baby pretty strongly. I knew it wasn't Kyllie because her energy is very outgoing. She comes across as quite strong-willed and outspoken. This new energy was almost the exact opposite. Someone more reserved, and soft spoken, whom I was pretty sure was a boy. I asked who he was and for his name, but couldn't get a clear answer so I turned to Kyllie, my little fireball. She informed me that that was Aaron, her brother.