Dating & Donors

Fast forward a few months to spring '09... I met a guy. We had serious chemistry. Like none other I'd ever experienced! And thus began a few dilemmas I'd heard about from so many other SMC's... #1... Date and keep trying with a donor or put it on hold in hopes New Guy is "the one". And dilemma number two... to tell New Guy about my Trying status or not... Well, in case number two I didn't have to decide for myself because he googled me and found my original blog post talking all about my decision to become a SMC. He said he was cool about it, but when August started getting closer he felt like the pressure was on. He couldn't come to terms with the idea of us staying together and me being pregnant with another man's baby and he wasn't ready to become a father again so we broke up. It was a great fling while it lasted...
On to donors then. I joined a site something akin to match.com for donors and recipients. I had pages and pages of potential donors that I'd consider. I sent them all messages and heard back from only a fraction. A mixed blessing for sure. Ultimately I found a guy that I really wanted to meet up with, he lived in Vancouver, WA, and he was game. I planned a trip to Portland under the guise of visiting my family for a week, which just so happened to coincide with ovulation week ;-) and I thought for sure I was on my way... Long story short Donor #1 boged out big time. I was crushed. But then another donor whom I'd emailed with, who originally said he wasn't interested, emailed again asking if I was still looking for a donor... was I ever?! So we agreed to meet the next day, the day before the end of my trip and late in my cycle, but still worth a shot. We texted for something like 3 straight hours! I was feeling good about meeting him and he me. As I was walking out the door of my dad's house there was a segment on the news about this woman who got murdered on the side of the highway-great... Just what Dad needed to see right before his only daughter was about to leave the house at midnight to meet up with a guy she'd never met in hopes of getting pregnant. oy.
Everything went fine and I was soon back home and crawling into bed, much to the relief of my dad.
Less than a week later I was back at work and starting to feel funky. I was never so excited to be that nauseous!
I felt the presence of my kids so strongly. For 2 weeks it seemed like this was finally it. They were getting their prelife review. They were in closed counsel with other beings, a lot. And then they were facing a decision that was difficult to make. A health challenge of some kind was going to show up at age 68. That was a major glitch for them. I never found out exactly what it was. I'm not even sure they did, but ultimately they chose not to stay this time because of it and a few other things I was to find out later.
Some of my intuitive friends were asking, "WHAT HAPPENED??? They were so here and then they were gone..." and all I could say was, "I know... I guess it wasn't time yet, still, again...sigh."